Today I'm still paying the price for overdindulgence this week.
Cake and chocolate hold no allure for me. I can easily resist desserts and sweet snacks; I can resist fries and chips. I don't even want them. But when it comes to wine with friends, I can never stop at just the one glass. So Thursday evening saw P and I with 2 friends (an ex of mine, and his current partner) knocking back the vino - 3 bottles between the 4 of us. Yesterday I felt like hell, and today I am exhausted and lethargic; I know I am retaining water, because the skin under my eyes and across my cheekbones feels taut and puffy. I feel incredibly ugly and out of sorts and horrible in my own body like I don't know where to put myself; I have the sniffles; I am shivery cold, and I've gained back weight. Pah!
I'm also ashamed of my lack of self-restraint. Drinking too much is far worse than eating too much. I wouldn't even entertain the idea of eating a 1000 cals worth of cake, so why my mind refuses to grasp that a calorie is a calorie is a calorie even if it's in 3 large glasses of Burgundy is beyond me.
I suppose on the positive side, I have really cut down on drinking alone this year. I'm even measuring when I do.
Still, it's done now, so I will just have to work at undoing the damage, and once more try to learn the lesson. I can't indulge so much any more at 34, and there's no way round that!
I should also be particularly mindful of my health at the moment, since P's father is currently in hospital after a suspected mild heart attack, and my own grandmother has had a mild stroke this week. I want a healthy old age, and if I want that, I need to invest in it now. I'm not a great planner - in fact when I think how little I have invested in my own future at the moment I become quite terrified - but I have to be more sensible now. Nothing comes without a price; the price to pay for restraint now is surely a better deal than the price I will pay for over-indulgence in several years.
And in the short-term, I have A Dress to fit into.