The Bell, It Tolls For Me

11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.58, 7, 8.58. And everything in between.

I hate insomnia.

Technical Woe

I don't know what it is about me, or my house, and digital scales - but the third set I've had this year has died. It doesn't want batteries, or hitting, or dropping on the floor in temper. It has ceased to be. It is ex.

So no weighing and measuring for me! P would be pleased; he thinks it's disordered behaviour.

I don't need the scales to know I've eaten well though.

Breakfast: Total 0%, pumpkin seeds, grapenuts, gojis.

Lunch : Big salad with arugala, spinach, romaine, pea shoots, green pepper, tomato, scallions, mushrooms, cottage cheese and salsa. Almonds, a brazil nut, and a pear.

Snacks: celery and salsa, oatcake with Philadelphia Extra Light, more almonds

Dinner: Super-easy one pot water-veggie soup with brussels, leeks, onion, garlic, broccoli, green beans, carrot, tomato, mushrooms and mixed herbs. Eggwhites.

I decided to cut fruit out from my breakfast and see if this made any difference in my hunger levels during the morning. It did, I think. I wasn't really hungry until just before noon when quite often it can be around 10am. Hunger or plummetting blood sugar or whatever has become a real issue recently, part of my angsty-angst I think. So I'm working on that.

I guess now is the time I wish everyone Happy Thanksgiving?

Happy Thanksgiving. :-)

Meeces in Pieces

There is an article cited on one of the CR lists today which includes the mice being minced after they have been variously wined and dined. Ew. Poor, poor meeces.

I looked at my diary this afternoon and worked out that I have twelve days between now and Christmas when I can be entirely sure of how many calories I'll be consuming and the nutritional value thereof. Twelve days when I won't have P staying with me, or won't be in London, or won't be otherwise socially obligated.

Hmm. DTBIC-tastic.

Where did this year go?

Wet

I'm ready to go home now for a week of quiet country living and detox and proper CRON. It's gotten so cold and wet I'd like this to be in front of a roaring fire. But I don't have one. So it will have to be central heating and blankets and the flicker of candle-light. And not from one being burnt at both ends.

I am day-dreaming about this as I sit at my desk with soaking wet hair and clothes after being caught in a deluge this morning, without umbrella or hat. My mascara has run, and I'm out of lippy and I have dark shadows after a late night gig last night, so I am a bit of a wreck and not looking at all professional. Home-working is so much better for sartorial disaster days like today.

I met Linda for coffee on Saturday, kindly made by her partner G. They are very interesting people and we had a good chat about all kinds of stuff, not all CR, punctuated by fussing over her cats. Thank you Linda, I enjoyed myself very much.

GM Omega-3?

Urgh.

Oooh, good mood!

The sun is shining and it was a glittering silver morning when I left P's house. My plans to get off the tube early and kick through the leaves in the park was scuppered by a stalled train somewhere down the tube lines, so I had to sacrifice my walk to a detour, but I am still in a bouncy happy mood. I had LLBY with my breakfast yoghurt today, for the first time in ages - a B boost? I wonder. ;-)

I also had raspberries and fresh figs and pomegranate seeds. I've made a salad for lunch which I am *really* looking forward to eating - mixed leaves, the rest of the pomegranate seeds, pumpkins seeds, satsuma, dried apricot and two walnut halves. It occurred to me after I made it that it is almost the precise dish I will be eating at dinner this evening with friends, but never mind. It looks so fun and colourful and autumnal. I've got some more yoghurt for protein to go with.

We did eat at The Gate last night pre gig - we shared the mezze plate of all the appetizers, and I had the woodland salad with wild mushrooms and hazelenuts and slivers of parmesan, truffle oil on the side (unconsumed). Really, really lovely. It just goes to prove to all those restaurants who keep trying to serve the vegetarian the huge plate of pasta, or risotto, or gnocchi, or bl**dy goat's cheese salad, that it really isn't difficult to be a bit more creative. Nothing on that plate could have taken much time or effort to put together. Just thought. More thought please!

When Life Gives You Lemons...

P and I have been having a run of rather niggling bad luck. Nothing dreadful, just one irritating thing after another. There's been The Yellow, obviously. But P has been sick too, with an ear infection and then an eye infection and an on-going cold and cough that has him hacking away and frightening the cats. Someone drove into the back of my car and caused quite a lot of damage. I don't seem to have been able to get to the gym for ages and then yesterday morning, when I really planned to, I reached across my kitchen table for a lemon to squeeze into hot water for my purifying breakfast wake-up drink - and threw my back out.

Ow.

Still, life goes on at the same hectic pace. My diary is pretty much packed from here until Christmas! I'm back in London for work and weekend, and if all things go to plan, it is all go go go. Lemonade a-plenty.

Last night I ate with a friend at St John Bread and Wine. Doesn't take much to work out what I ate - actually, what we both ate, since she decided to be vegetarian for the evening as well. Admittedly I could have chosen a better venue had I known. :-) We shared a plate of delicious little gem salad leaves with fresh herbs, and some cheese afterwards with sinful raisin bread. Drank a Pinot Noir from Central Otago before dinner, and a Minervois with.

Tonight P and I are going to see Air play at the Hammersmith Apollo. We might be eating at The Gate beforehand. Spot what I'll eat if we do... spoilt for choice! Tomorrow there will be more food when we have dinner with friends at Clarke's. Saturday I shall attempt to fast... in preparation for Sunday which is the Decanter Fine Wine Encounter, followed by a gig by Arcade Fire.

And on Monday I shall fall over. :-)

In the midst of all this I am still paying attention to my diet and nutrition and, yes, to my calories. I'm aware I'm probably not getting full nutrition - low on the B's, probably low on E, definitely low on iron - and the calories are certainly higher than I like them to be, but I still need to find some time to work out a quotidien diet that will get me there without having to stuff myself too full of veggies to do so. I really, really dislike that feeling, and there has to be another way. I just need to work out what it is.

Anyway.

Today at work I need to set up a new and shiny PC to replace my old and very unshiny one. I am procrastinating. It's far too nice a day outside, bright brilliant blue, and I'd far rather be walking in Kensington Palace Gardens, scrunching through the fallen leaves and watching the ducks and geese squabbling on the lake. I love Autumn.

Go Read

Mizzi has written a fabulous blog entry that has moved me intensely with its grace and sense of calm and acceptance. Thank you, Mizzi. The last paragraph was something that, for some reason, I really needed to read this morning.

The Long Road

(I took this picture while out walking on Salisbury Plain the other week. It was very peaceful and also very sombre. Out of shot, to my distant left, the army were firing tank cannons and exploding mortars, the reverberations muttering across the still air).

On Tuesday I had lots and lots of blood drawn and today I called the surgery for the results and was told by the receptionist that everything came back normal - carotene, B12, cortisol, full blood count, protein... normal. Was tested for lots of stuff I don't understand, but apparently it was comprehensive. So not sure where to go from here - still yellow. Just stop worrying about it and resign myself to it? Guess that is my only option for a couple of months because I know I will get short shrift from the doctors if I waste their valuable time again. Maybe in January I will seek a second set of tests, privately. For my own reassurance. Hate this.

It must be almost a year now since I first heard about CR, and determined that I would start the experiment in January. I must admit that, weird colour changes and some weight loss beside, I can't say I feel very much different for it right now. I may, of course, not be working hard enough at it at the moment. I can only DTBIC.

Where would we be without R's a-CRON-yms?

I do enjoy reading the blogs I link to. Whatever happens, it's been worth experimenting to have made the virtual acquaintance of you all. Thank you, as ever, for your comments. I might even get around to posting something a bit more interesting and worth your while reading, one of these days. It might even be about CR.

A Red and Gold Day

It's a beautiful Autumn day in London today. Mild, blue skies, soft and gentle breeze. Delicious.

Tonight we are going to the theatre for the first time in what seems like an age. To see Patrick Stewart in MacBeth. To say I am really looking forward to it is an under-statement. Afterwards, I am hoping to huddle in Soho, sipping strong scalding coffee in the dark, wrapped up in sweater and scarf and possibly woolie hat, and talking over the performance with P and 2 close friends. We might get a late dinner but I doubt it.

I'm starting to feel a lot more relaxed and less stressed about my CRON practice, such as it is. I'll be happy just to get a state of balance back around the whole issue, and I'm getting there. It feels a bit like coming out of a dark tunnel, or out of a storm into the quiet. I had a few weeks there where I was really losing it, letting the stress get the better of me. I'm now accepting that it's not possible for me to monitor my nutrition all the time, or indeed most of the time. I can only do the best that I can do. I've never been any less than honest about that in this blog. I do have lots of knowledge at my disposal to make ad-lib eating somewhat less ad-lib than someone who doesn't have the same.

I think the yellow in my hands is fading but it's difficult to tell. It was certainly difficult to persuade the doctor this week that they hadn't always been this way, but eventually I managed to get an appointment for another blood test, where they will check my carotene and B12 levels, and also do a hormonal screen. It might seem like a lot of fuss about nothing to them, and maybe to others as well, but it seems to me quite reasonable to get things checked when things appear to be odd. Thanks again to everyone who has commented reassuringly and shared their own yellow tales.

P wants me to conduct my own experiments - cut out foods high in beta-carotene for a few weeks, for example. Or eat cheese for the B12. He just wants to share pizza, I reckon. ;-) I think I'll just wait for the results of the testing and take it from there.

For London people - Wholefoods are now stocking free-range liquid eggwhites in the chiller next to the dairy. And this new restaurant in Notting Hill looks fabulous. This is the kind of food I want my calories to be in - simple, plain, seasonal, minimal in ingredients. No fuss, no frills. Just good simple cookery. And yes, with good wine.