Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Oh dear

The CRON fairies are not with me today.

Still no batteries for my scales in London, and not much CRON friendly food in P's fridge. In fact, last week's leftovers are still in there, and making a break for freedom. I shut the door quite hurriedly after opening it this morning, and I'm trying not to think about it.

So I've been a bit lax so far. Breakfast was 3 fresh apricots with pumpkin seeds, gojis, cacao nibs, a brazil nut, 4 almonds and a dessert spoon of oats. And a bit of bread and honey. :-( I snacked on more almonds and gojis on the way into the office, and then stopped off at Whole Foods for a veggie juice which was a mistake - more fruit than veggies, unfortunately...

I'm getting really into the idea of veggie juices but not with a fruit base. I had a wonderful Green juice last week which had a cucumber base, and fennel and spinach in it. Mmmm. This morning's "Detox Delight" (because I might have been a little over-enthusiastic last night) had spinach and celery in it, but also pear and kiwi, and it was too sweet. I still drank the whole thing though.

Lunch was over-priced and over-sauteed broccoli with some other salad veggies, some hard-boiled egg white, and some strawberries and non-fat yoghurt. P just tells me we are going out to dinner again later on. Meh.

I'm trying not to let my mindset slip but it's tricky at the moment. I'm also constantly being told by people that I have got too thin, so part of me (in defiance) is thinking that being more undisciplined is ok. Of course it's not. If I *have* got too skinny (and I can't tell!), then I need to be more disciplined and pay more attention to my diet to keep it healthy and focused on the good things. Grabbing samples of yummy cheese is not going to help! :-)

In other news, I think I am in love with ee cummings...

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
not fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


Mizpah said...

I heard that poem in a movie - can't remember which one - and thought it was beautiful.

I know what you mean about the mindset of thinking it is okay to relax when you are getting 'too' skinny. In part that is what helped me get my BMI back up two points!

But you do need to eat and maybe even more calories than you are used to. Maybe cheese isn't so bad now and then too. Your diet is looking so healthy as usual.

Sara said...

It is a gorgeous poem and I so want to use it in the wedding, but to me it's something that I would want to read to P and he is insisting that I can't do a reading myself and so the hunt continues... :-)

Illiah said...

I think that's my favorite ee cummings poem. Makes me think of a little child with a precious treasure.

Maybe you can work some of the lines into your vows? We wrote our own when we got married and we tossed in things like that...

As far a CRON, getting married is one of the biggie life stressors in life, so maybe you could set a date, like August 1st to get serious again, and for now, just concentrate on eating well and getting married?