Saturday, 8 September 2007

Bad Mood, Bad Post

The Frome Show was interesting in a Country Show kind of way - ie, for about an hour. But there are only so many displays of fruit and vegetables and flowers I can take; only so many burger bars I can walk past. The running ducks being herded by sheepdogs was fun, I guess (the foot and mouth restrictions haven't been lifted yet, so sheep herding was out of the question) but I felt really sorry for the poor show poultry, rocking in their cages, bashing their beaks along the bars.

I wasn't in a great mood before we went; felt really cold and shivery and it wasn't until the sun came out that I stopped feeling shivery and like death. Meh. And no, it wasn't a hangover; I had to drive from the station last night (and why Wiltshire fog waits until 10pm to manifest itself for the entirety of the drive along country roads and then disappears magically once I enter my village to leave a sky brilliant with stars and milky-way I do not know).

I am so very tired, with no good reason at all.

I've also changed my profile to confess to the vida con vino. I still think I am probably CR'd, and my food is totally ON. But I cannot be CRON like this, and I don't want anyone thinking I am under any illusions that the two can be mutually compatible as the situation stands now.

I still want to keep blogging. I've suffered from terrible writer's block for the last decade, indeed that is what brought my PhD to a crashing halt. This is such a tiny start, but it is writing; it is words starting to flow again, starting to take shape and form and feeling in my head and I really would feel a little bereft if I gave it up. Not least to say missing the feeling of virtual semi-community. Having people say "great post", or saying they enjoy my writing style, is so rewarding for me; I love to give the same back on other blogs. I care about this, about CRON, I really do. I am just not able, not ready or not willing to take the final step right now. Maybe that's being too hard on myself, maybe it's not, but... well, that's where I am.

So sorry guys, not a great post from me this time. Maybe next week, when maybe I will be feeling as though I am doing better.

Right now I have BBQ veggies to prepare. On the menu tonight: mushrooms baked in the oven with 1tsp olive oil, one dash red wine, garlic and rosemary; tomato salad; zucchini, peppers, sweet potato - either oven-baked or grilled, it depends how much meat is on the BBQ and how tainted the grill is with that; green bean salad from a friend (dressed to the nines). I pray no one brings halloumi. I will probably have to eat some olive bread and maybe a small piece of goat's cheese tart. Strawberries. Melon.

God I am so grumpy. I am going to sit in the last of the sun with the papers.

For the hell of it, here is where I am right now with food today. We were so late at the Show that I had to eat a couple of pieces of said olive bread to keep me from falling over, or becoming even more grumpy. I've guessed the amounts on that, and the nearest CoM equivalent. Aside from that I've had yoghurt with blackberries and greengages (recorded as plums), almonds and seeds and gojis, and a lunch salad of lettuce, tomato, steamed broccoli and zucchini with LLBY, and a pear with 20g sheep's cheese (recorded as goat's cheese and it is SO UNFAIR that 20g of that comes up as 90 calories - how is that even possible? Grumpity-grump).

===========================================
Nutrition Summary for 08 September 2007
===========================================

General (65%)
===========================================
Energy | 799.6 kcal 67%
Protein | 38.5 g 43%
Carbs | 126.9 g 106%
Fiber | 28.9 g 96%
Fat | 20.8 g 52%
Water | 941.1 g 35%

Vitamins (83%)
===========================================
Vitamin A | 24242.1 IU 1039%
Folate | 440.9 µg 110%
B1 (Thiamine) | 1.2 mg 109%
B2 (Riboflavin) | 1.6 mg 146%
B3 (Niacin) | 11.4 mg 81%
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)| 2.4 mg 48%
B6 (Pyridoxine) | 1.2 mg 95%
B12 (Cyanocobalamin) | 0.4 µg 15%
Vitamin C | 193.3 mg 258%
Vitamin D | 406.9 IU 203%
Vitamin E | 7.9 mg 53%
Vitamin K | 616.1 µg 685%

Minerals (77%)
===========================================
Calcium | 809.8 mg 81%
Copper | 1.5 mg 168%
Iron | 12.8 mg 71%
Magnesium | 272.6 mg 85%
Manganese | 3.0 mg 165%
Phosphorus | 695.5 mg 99%
Potassium | 2590.6 mg 55%
Selenium | 37.5 µg 68%
Sodium | 689.2 mg 46%
Zinc | 4.8 mg 60%

Lipids (66%)
===========================================
Saturated | 6.6 g 66%
Omega-3 | 1.7 g 150%
Omega-6 | 3.9 g 90%
Cholesterol | 21.0 mg 7%

10 comments:

Skweel said...

Hi Sara,
I'm 19, vegetarian, and began CRON around the same time as you. You've been such an inspiration to me and you're definately my favorite CR blogger. I understand your struggle in staying on track, as I had the problem this summer and am still recovering. For someone who is so devoted to CRON, eating ad lib cannot last forever. I am sure you'll get 'back on the wagon' soon. For now please continue to blog!!! =)

Your fan,
Sam

Sara said...

Oh bless. Thank you! :-) And alll my best wishes for you in your CRON practise. I had no idea until recently that my blog was read by anyone I don't link to. :-)

Sara said...

Oh yes, and what I also should have said was at that age 19 please be careful with your restriction, be mindful that you are still growing and developing and you really don't want to set yourself up for problems in the future by going too low in calories, and use software to monitor your nutrition. I am sure you know that, and you are probably just fine with it and being very responsible, but I just wanted to... well, say, really. And now having been unable to sleep fretting about my poor response to your comment, I'm going back to bed. :-) Take care.

April said...

Sara,

You are so brave. Please keep writing. I just got home from my grandfather's service, so I can't write much now (must pet cats!) but more soon. Keep the writing coming!!!

a

Christina said...

Sara, even when you feel grumpy, your writing is still great to read! I always look forward to your new posts. Hope you feel better soon.

Zana said...

Definitely keep writing Sara! I really enjoy reading your posts, even the grumpy ones :) It would just be boring if you blogged about acheiving CRON perfection without effort every single day, so thank you for sharing your struggles as well as your successes :)

skinnybitch said...

Sara,

Your posts always make me long to eat over at your house. Such yummy food and good wine! I agree - it's completely unfair that goat's cheese is so high in calories. Sigh.

Hang in there and keep on writing. Remember that you have some devoted fans out here in the CRON blogosphere!

R

HkGrace said...

Well, I am lucky enough to have eaten at Chez Sara, and it is indeed fabulous. And her house is fabulous. And her garden is fabulous. But most fabulous of all is Sara herself :)

Arturo said...

Hi Sara
What Hillary says is probably true; that's the impression we get from your beautiful writing, Sara. What was the subject of your PhD?
Is there any possibility of resurrecting it?
Cheers,
Arturo

Sara said...

Arturo - my PhD thesis was to have been on images of kingship in Caroline drama. I was hoping to demonstrate the changing attitudes towards royalty through the 1630's that resulted in the execution of Charles I and the English Civil War - I was naive, of course there were none, because of censorship; or if there were, the plays did not survive (or if they did, I didn't find them). I should have stuck with my beloved early Jacobean tragedies, but I thought at the time that study in those had been done to death (as it were). So... I don't know, probably no chance of resurrecting the original thesis (even though it was funded - my God I was so stupid to not realise what that meant at the time!), but if I can continue to string words into sentences maybe something else will come of that.

My house and garden are indeed fabulous; I, however, am far from so. :-)