Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Season of Good Will

I'm coming to the end of a week in London and I am shattered. And coming down with a cold, which is more than slightly irritating. I really don't know how I dealt with living here full-time just a few years ago; I feel peeled raw by the noise and the crowds right now. Still, less than 24 hours and I can look forward to... oooh, almost ten nights with no bright lights!

Since it is the season of good will to all men, I suppose I should make a real effort at extending that towards myself and cut myself some slack. Inevitably, what with not going to the gym, and eating out, and not weighing and measuring my food, I've gained weight. I don't need scales to tell me; I can see it. It doesn't please me that I will end this year as I end most years, feeling decidedly below par and undisciplined. P is being a sweetheart and saying he likes me more curvy (and taking every cheeky opportunity to pinch my butt)... but I don't.

However, this is the body I live in. And it serves me well. It might have hands that are more yellow than I would like right now (though I think less so, yay!), and it might be more padded than I would wish, and it is certainly less toned than it should be. But it serves me well. It does not break easily; it rarely gets sick beyond a sniffle or scratchy throat. I should appreciate it more. I'm tired of being so down on myself.

So I'd like this to be one of my NY resolutions. It can co-exist with the usual ones (more regular gym, loose 8lbs, drink less, blah de blah de blah), but developing a more positive attitude towards myself really is something I need to do once and for all. Robin writes about developing better habits... and this is all this is. Being down on myself has become a bad habit that needs to be broken, more than any other bad habit I have. The rest will surely shatter along the way.

In other news, I have made a complete pig's ear of Xmas shopping this year, and now am trawling the internet madly for gifts that don't smack of last minute desperation. *sigh*

4 comments:

Linda said...

Have a wonderful Xmas! The holiday is a good time to relax, take stock, reflect and then start the New Year refreshed.

nenette@lifecandy.net said...

Great post, Sara! I think you are definitely right that we need to remember to treat ourselves kindly. It's been a difficult CR year for me, and I know that when I beat up myself for every slip up, I'm not doing myself any good.
I think that my being nice to me will have to be a NY resolution of mine as well.
I hope you have a great Holiday Season in the peace and quiet of home.

Hugs,
Nen

Arturo said...

Hi Sara
Hope you have happy holidays. Maybe you just need to be mindful of eating over the holidays and not obsess about the weight gain until after the first of the year. My intuition tells me that during the holidays, you can use a little fasting at a meal following one in which you might overeat or eat the wrong things. That might help so you don't gain any additional weight.
Cheers,
Arturo

skinnybitch said...

Hi Sara,

A friend of mine used to post a note above her desk that always made me stop and think. It said something like this:
"If I relieve the suffering of at least one person today, my time will have been well spent."

It occurs to me that we all could meet this goal even if we did nothing more than stop torturing ourselves. At the end of the day, most of us are harder on ourselves than we are on other people.

I think your goal of being kinder to yourself is incredibly important - much more important than any goal about calories or exercise. If you truly love yourself, then all else will follow naturally, as you say.

Happy holidays!
Robin